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The simplest
and most accurate way I can describe my
personality is that I have been and probably
always will be a seeker – always insisting
on creating my own path and forging my own
style, in an effort to always remain in
integrity with what felt authentically “me.”
College was a case in point: I went to 6
different schools and changed my major
nearly 24 times before getting my BA, hoping
that each new area of focus would satisfy
what felt missing in me. By the time I was
27 years old and already a veteran meditator,
I had already tried every healing modality I
could get my hands on, from
counseling/therapy to New Age to
ancient/traditional methods, but nothing
helped– I was still miserable.
My
relationships and professional life suffered
and things were not looking good for my
future. After having tried so many
approaches to healing my emotional pain, I
came across lessons about the inner critic
or inner judge quite by accident. As I
studied this phenomenon within the
laboratory of my own psyche, and engaged
wholeheartedly in healing myself from its
grasp, a miraculous thing happened: I
started to feel better. And it’s not like
things in my life just suddenly turned
around and improved – not by a long shot, in
fact – but I did find that, by being able to
tame and quiet down my inner critic, I
became more resilient to the bad things that
happened in life, as bad things do
inevitably happen. As I became better able
to manage my own internal dialogue and
experienced the profound shift this created
in how I felt day-to-day, I became more
determined to help others with this same
process.
Shortly
thereafter I enrolled in school full-time to
become a therapist. |
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